(originally performed at an event called THE SOFT SHOW at The Blue Monk. Portland. Oregon. October 1, 2013)
Good evening, Softies. It’s an honor to be all up in this here soft serve spectacle.
My humor is bad and my Uncle Frosty love truck plays “The Entertainer” backwards over and over again as I careen up and down your streets, at ungodly hours. And now you feel weird, because you thought you dreamed me.
What follows is an excerpt from a forthcoming memoir entitled “On this night, I bring you not bon-bons but a fistful of cherry bombs.
SCHOOL FOR SCUM
This chapter is called
I guess I’ve always had what you might call an “overactive imagination”.